28th Ramadhan1428H

Assalamualaikum.

Hmm... i've been silent for quite sometime already. Jan2007 was my last post!! Very accurate to my blog title - Not-Really-A-Blogger. hehehe....

Nway, for the past few mths, sure lots of things happened in my life.

What i wanna share here, not really share... just letting go how i feel... I lost my dearest grandma on peaceful morning of 1st Sept 2007. Today, it is the 40th day of her absence from my family's life.

It all began with a call from my mom, on 28th Aug evening... informing that she was at emergency unit in HUSM, accompanying my sister who decided to bring Tok Mek (as she was fondly called by immediate family members) to hospital after she complained that it is so painful for her to move anymore. According to my mom, she heard a loud 'bump' from Tok Mek's room before dawn the day before. When she rushed to see what was happening, Tok Mek is already on the floor, gasping for help to lift her up. Apparently, she felt down while trying to be off bed, to get ready for Subuh prayer. Since then, she was not able to move around like before. I don't know whether she was sent to a clinic immediately or not, but knowing Tok Mek, she would refuse to go even if you insist.

Ok, back to emergency unit... at about 9pm, i called my mom asking the progress. My sister (Wanie) brought her there as she suspected maybe Tok Mek's ageing bones cracked somewhere due to the incident. But to our surprise, the doctor immediately ushered her to ICU before even scanning her bones. What the doctor told Wanie was that her heart was too weak, that's what caused her falling from getting off her bed. The bed where she slept for more than 50years already.

So, there she is, with my sister accompanying her first night being admitted in HUSM.

The next day, 29th Aug 2007, i called my mom in the morning wanting to know any update. My mom said she herself didn't know well because Wanie has yet to come home. Later, Wanie called me, informing about Tok Mek's condition. She told me wht the doctor told her about Tok Mek's heart condition, and how she was during last night where Wanie is always beside her. According to Wanie, she is like her normself, by seeing through our eyes, she seems well, only that she can't move a lot due to the back pain taht she still suffers. But certain conversations alarmed Wanie, that makes she decided to call me. Part of the conversation she had with Tok Mek, she told Wanie that she heard a beautiful chanting of Allah's name and chanting of zikrullah... at 4a.m!! She asked where it was coming from... and Wanie sank in her own world, knowing what was going to happen. She told her, that the zikrullah that she heard was coming from a nearby mosque, where in actual fact, no chanting or call for prayers whtsoever happened at 4o'clock in the morning! Nobody heard anything, neither did Wanie nor the nurses in the ward.

During the day, Tok Mek was accompanied by Mak Su since Wanie need to go to work. Luckily, Wanie works at HUSM too, but at dental section, in another building. After she punched in for work, she would go back to the ward and give Tok Mek a quick fresh wipe up (replacing her morning bath since she can't be moved a lot) and until she settled with her morning calls, Wanie would go back to her work routine till lunch break, where she would visit Tok Mek again in the ward, and take Mak Su out for lunch whilst my mom standby by Tok Mek's bed. Till 5pm, after work, Wanie will visit Tok Mek again and take Mak Su home. My mom took her shift from this time until 10pm at night where Wanie will be accompanying her again.

More alarming conversation with Wanie on tht night... she asked has M'cik Bedah gone back home after visiting her. M'cik Bedah is her cousin, whe passed away about 10 days before she was admitted to HUSM. Wanie calmly told her that M'cik Bedah is no longer aorund, and she just smiles........
By this time, at around 11pm, i was already on the way back home. We were at Lipis when my mom called asking where we were. When i heard the above story from Wanie's sms, it sent a chill thrugh down my spine. Is it the time for me to lose her?

~written by mamacare, with the memory of Tok Mek still strong in my head~