5am, 30th Aug 2007 - My family and i safely arrived at my hometown, after 7 hours journey from Sepang. Perghh... back ache for sitting so long, with Imran sleeping on my lap.
Get to know that my uncle ( Tok Mek's 4th son) from Johor is already here, and he and his wife are taking their turn to take care Tok Mek during day session since yesterday afternoon after they arrived in the morning. Well, i thought Mak Su sat the whole day by her own yesterday, taking care of Tok Mek... good to know that P'cik and Che Ani is by Tok Mek's side already.
What lingers in my head is, where is her 1st son, my Pak Long?? He resides just abt 15 minutes journey from our home, and yet can't he offered any help? can't he think that his ONLY mother is about to leave, can't he be more sensitive towards her?? Urrghh... enuf said about that...
At noon, i thought of taking my turn to take care Tok Mek after noon session, but after a long journey last night, i still feel drowzy and tired. So i decided to swap with Wanie who has been taking care of Tok Mek for two nigts in a row already...
Around 5pm, after packing some food for me to chew during the night, my family and i headed to Tok Mek's ward. When i arrived beside her bed, it was really agonising for me to see how old and how weak she looks. At the time we arrived, she was having bad vomitting, had been continuos after she took her lunch. My heart shakes seeing her condition... i felt so weak, but i can't let other family members see how i feel. Imran suddenly becomes cranky, weeping and grabbing me to lift him up. I passed him to my husband, and he took him out of the ward.
I get nearer to Tok Mek's side, together with my aunty, Che Ani, and a nurse we clean up her vomit, change her blouse, change pillow case, change bedsheet when suddenly she threw-up again... and again.. and again... After 4 times we changed bedsheet and her blouse, she stopped vomitting. I asked Che Ani, how's her condition today? She said that the whole day since she arrined in the morning, Tok Mek had been sleeping, even when lunch time came, Che Ani had to wake her up and force a bit of food for her to swallow. Then she get back to her sleep. Che Ani also mentioned that she was not like this yesterday, where she still speaks and not sleeping the whole day.
By 6pm, a stream of relatives flooded her bedside with a lot of questions being thrown to us. As if what happened to Tok Mek is our fault. We, the immediate family members were being pushed aside.... Ok, then.... we gave them space to visit Tok Mek but what makes us uncomfortable is that they kept shaking Tok Mek so she open her eyes and see that they are visiting her!! Just let her rest, for goodness.... she just had a bad vomitting session.... and they knew it because we have informed them earlier.
We were told that TOk Mek need to be moved to CCU, because her heart condition is getting weaker even after a series of whateva medications that the doctor has given her. Why CCU? Because it is alot easier for the nurses to take care and also for them to ahve a close monitor on Tok Mek's condition.
P'cik and Che Ani would like to excuse themselves for the day. I said ok, since it's already near 7pm and they have been in the ward the whole day, they need to be refreshed as well.
Just near Maghrib, suddenly Tok Mek vomit blood!! A heavy clot of blood coming out from her mouth continuosly until my heart beats faster than ever... Is it time? Will it be now... with a lot of relatives still surrounding her??
All the tissue that is available has been used to wipe the blood, even a piece of high quality handkerchief that was left by Che Ani has to be thrown away cos the blood smells so bad...
And suddenly, i saw Pok Long with his family and sis-in-laws came in.
The relatives (mostly is her nieces and nephews who came to visit only today), try to persuade us to bring Tok Mek hoem so that they can read Yassin together besides her, for a speedy recovery. After we speaks to each other, and after i called Che Ani and consult with her (she was a medical practitioner at PPUM before she retired), we decided to let Tok Mek stay in ward so that the doctors can still monitor her. If we take her out from here, what else can we do? In here, with the continous visits from relatives who will never leave Tok Mek without reciting Yassin for her recovery, we will also have nurses and doctors. Well, in reality, we are still hoping for her to recover with the help from those medication supplied to her.
After 8.30pm, everyone has gone home, including Pok Long and family. Now left my mom and me for our night shift. Tok Mek's condition still not improved... she still shut her eyes, sleeping i guess.... and at times struggling to let go her arms. (nurses had to tie her arms to the bedside since she always pull the oksigen mask from her mouth, and another tube that had been inserted inside her esofagus through her nose for the blood vomit go through). Sometimes, she opened her eyes and asked for a drop of water. I will spoonfed her with air Zam-zam, about 2 or 3 spoons. Then she will get back to her rest.
It was almost 11pm, all other patients around us has already slept... including their caretaker... I told my mom to get a rest, or go to sleep in the surau or on the sofa couch at the rest space... cos my mom also had a bad knee pain... She can't be in sitting position for too long....
After half an hour my mom left, Tok Mek suddenly opened her eyes, but she looked up, a long stare up in the ceiling... even calling her name does not bring any difference... I was scared.....
~written by mamacare, with the memory of Tok Mek still lingers in my head~
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